You want me to do what?

As my quest of a hot mess has progressed and continued on for several weeks now, I am finding that I am becoming stronger and stronger. But there are still times when I look at the work out of the day that is expected of me and say to myself (and sometimes to my trainer), "you want me to do what? I'm sorry, but have you forgotten who you are dealing with? Me? WHAT?"

I had that same sort of feeling today. When I checked my crossfit trainer's blog for what I will be doing tomorrow, I saw that the workout has been named, Angie." Now I don't know who Angie is or why in the world this workout is named after her, but I am certain that I don't want to know. The work out is 100 pullups, 100 pushups, 100 situps, and 100 air squats...all for time. I laugh to myself thinking, "How long will this take me?"

But, what I have to remind myself of, is that when I began, I could hardly do 10 burpees without dying...I could only jump on a 12 inch tire and barely make that...I did pushups on my knees...I was no weight lifter by any stretch of the imagination...and I certainly had not done a handstand since I was a teenager.

Now, a mere 8-9 weeks later, I have done 50 burpees when required...I jump on a 20" box...I do full body pushups (for most workouts)...I max out at a 190 lb deadlift...I can front squat 115 lbs...AND for an added bonus, I can do a workout requiring handstands!!!

I say all this...not to blow the bugle in honor of my accomplishment...but to remind us all that it doesn't matter where you begin. I doesn't matter how "strong" or "weak" your perception of your strength is when you begin. It doesn't matter how much you weigh or how much weight you think you need to lose when you begin. The only thing that matters is that YOU BEGIN!

Beginning is the hardest part!! Changing yourself, changing your schedule, re-prioritizing, making time for your health, taking time to do the work to live longer and have a better quality of life...none of these is easy, but take it from me...IT'S WORTH IT. It is worth every bead of sweat.

I have so far to go and my quest will go on and on. But, it's my quest and it is continuing and will continue! How is your quest? My words for today...BEGIN!

DON'T give up!

There have been times in my life that I have begun this quest for health and strength. In every instance, every single time, without exception, I have come to question my choices to change. Thoughts and questions come to mind..."this is too hard!" "I am sick and tired of this!" "Is this really going to be for the rest of my life?" "No one understands how I feel." I need some chocolate!"

What makes these questions different for me now than before is that my goals are different. Before the goal had been just to get skinny, not to get healthy. The goal had been to get into those skinny jeans instead of setting an example of health for my kids. The silent voices in my head telling me to quit are still there, but there is another voice...a louder voice...saying, "You can't quit now! You have a new life, a new lifestyle, a new way of living."

As I was pondering these thoughts of quitting, I was reminded of Jesus and how He, too, wanted to quit. When He knew the cross was closer than ever, that sooner than later He would lose His life in the most excruciating way, He said, "if there is any other way...let this cup pass from me." However, in His clarity, with me and all of humanity in mind, He then said, "but not My will but Your will be done."

I am by no means comparing myself to Jesus or comparing my struggle for health to be in any way equal to His sacrifice on the cross. But, what I am saying is that it is refreshing for me and gives me great encouragement to know that in great PAIN and sacrifice there is great VICTORY.

So, I am going to take my cue from the dearest friend I have and not quit and not give up. The rewards far outweigh the cost. My health not only brings joy and strength to me...but to my husband and my children, my family and my friends.

Here's to us and here's to health! Life is worth living!! Go and be strong!